I have learned a lot about myself as I have grown the desire
to strengthen my relationship with my Father in Heaven. However, some of those
things are not very pleasant. My biggest flaw is that I seem to feel a sense of
entitlement. I recognize and dislike this part about myself. It’s been a lot of
work to overcome this, or at least try to overcome it since I still haven’t
fully done it. My problem is that sometimes I expect blessings. I act like I
deserve blessings for each commandment kept or each good deed done. Occasionally
I expect answers to prayers just because the prayer was made. I’m learning that
this is not how it works. Yes, God wants to infinitely bless us, but these
forms of blessings will not always be in the form we would wish to receive
them.
I read an article about adversity in this month’s February
issue of the Ensign and came across the following quote.
“Sometimes we wonder about the purpose for trials and
suffering. Adversity is necessary in our Heavenly Father’s plan to help us grow
spiritually and become more like the Savior. His atonement makes it possible
for us to be purified as we keep His commandments and our sacred covenants. By
exercising faith in Jesus Christ, we receive strength to rise through every
trial. I feel privileged to know I can find evidences of God’s love for me in
the good and the bad, the joy and the suffering.”
Some adversities will be easier to manage than others, while
other adversities will appear to be impossible. I’m currently going through a
personal trial that up until the last couple of weeks felt unbearable. I felt
alone, misunderstood, miserable and forgotten. I felt like giving up until I
heard a member bear her testimony of an experience where she felt alone and
devastated. She was involved in an accident where she was left paralyzed. She
made a decision during her hospital stay that she was not going to give up. She
talked about her relationship with God and how this trial strengthened their
relationship. It made me realize that I needed to humble myself. I wanted to
confidently say that my relationship with God was strong and great. It has been
in the past but my stubbornness was turning into bitter and I was only
distancing myself from Him when I should have been running towards Him. I had been
feeling forgotten because I was feeling like my prayers weren’t being answered
in the way that I wanted. After
hearing that testimony I knew that I needed to change my ways. I never stopped
praying to God but I cannot say that each of my prayers were containing the
amount of faith I needed to put into my prayers. I have since changed that. I
am working on my relationship with my Heavenly Father because when it comes
down to it this is the most important relationship I can and need to have. I
have felt better about myself and will continue to humble myself. I have a
testimony in blessings and I know that they will come in one form or another.
This knowledge is enough to get me through the hard times.
The
Apostle James taught, ‘Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall
lift you up’ (James 4:10).
I decided to search the word ‘adversity’ on the church’s
website and I loved what I read. I learned that it’s okay to feel saddened or
discouraged. In fact, these feelings are needed and part of life. Adversity is
explained as part of Heavenly Father’s plan of redemption. I read that trials,
disappointments, sadness, sickness, and heartaches are a difficult part of
life, but with the help of the Lord they can lead to spiritual growth,
refinement, and progress.
The important thing is how we act in these times of
hardships. Our happiness hugely depends on our responses during difficult
times. I have been guilty of complaining and becoming bitter when things get
tough. I have asked ‘why me?’ and ‘why now?’ or more recently ‘why not now?’
when wanting a specific answer to a prayer. But we know why. We know the road
back is not going to be easy. Considering how great the reward will be one day
it would make sense that the road wouldn’t be easy. The trials we face could
come at a time of righteous living, or caused by someone else’s actions, or
could have been avoided altogether but was created by our own doings. Sometimes
the trials could even come from a loving Heavenly Father as a teaching
experience. Whatever the reason or cause of the trial there is one thing we can
rely on. Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The gospel is not there to
prevent hard times from coming but to help strengthen and guide us when they do
come (Al Carraway).
The prophet Alma taught, “Whosoever shall put their trust in
God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their
afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 36:3).
I needed these words and this topic this month. We need to
replace what we don’t know about the future or outcomes of our trials with what
we DO know about God. We have been promised in D&C 78:18 “be of good cheer,
for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are
yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.”.
"Because you are covenant-keeping sons and daughters of God, living in the latter part of these latter days, the Lord will ask you to do difficult things. You can count on it."
- President Nelson
